There Is No Health Without Mental Health

We often get triggered in our everyday lives by situations that remind us of our past wounds…

For example, if someone at work gives us a simple piece of feedback, we might find ourselves feeling defensive or ashamed. This is often because as a child you’ve experiencesd harsh criticism and felt not good enough.

Similarly, if a partner is late to dinner, someone who has experienced feelings of abandonment might immediately jump to the worst conclusions, thinking their partner is losing interest or doesn’t value their time. (You probably learned and experienced conditional love).

Instead of calmly addressing the situation, they might respond with anger or shut down, drawing from those old feelings of being abandoned rather than recognizing the current situation.

A little kindness can make all the difference. It feels good to offer a little compassion in a world that can be hard. We can only hope that when we need it, someone will offer us the same comfort.

When someone shares their trauma, they’re often also battling feelings of shame and guilt.

These emotions are common responses to trauma because, over time, people start to internalize the pain and blame themselves for what happened.

They may feel shame because they believe they were weak or responsible, even though what happened was out of their control.

Guilt can come from the feeling that they could have done something differently to prevent the trauma or its aftermath, even when that’s not true.

This is how trauma rewires the brain—it convinces people that they are at fault or that they deserved what happened, which feeds into feelings of inadequacy. 

A traumatized brain and nervous system, especially when shaped in childhood, learns that in order to survive, you have to push through pain and hardship. Over time, this becomes the default, the “normal” way of being.

Even as an adult, you might find yourself subconsciously choosing to keep suffering because it feels familiar, like it’s what you know.

You might stay in toxic relationships, put up with poor boundaries, or keep pushing yourself at work until you burn out.

Maybe you hold onto guilt, ignore your own needs, or keep giving to others while neglecting yourself.

Big shoutout to the wonderful souls out there who have been through so much suffering and still choose to rise above it.

I truly wish more people understood what living with trauma really means. It’s not a life lesson or something we benefit from; it’s about survival. For so many, it feels like walking through hell—emotionally and physically.

And despite their pain and struggles, they still choose to spread kindness, compassion, and care. 

Emotional intimacy is the heartbeat of true connection….

When someone makes you feel seen, heard, and understood without judgment, it can be very supportive on your healing journey.

Maybe you can relate, but many people with trauma crave deep connections while actually fearing intimacy. This fear often comes from past experiences/trauma where vulnerability led to pain or rejection, making it hard to trust others including yourself.

You might worry that opening up will lead to judgment or dismissal, causing you to hold back and suppress your emotions. 

More people need to know this…

Trauma often reshapes the way you understand and express compassion.

You’ve felt pain, suffocating helplessness, or isolation firsthand, so you know what it’s like to struggle beneath the surface. This gives you a heightened sensitivity to the unspoken signs of distress in others—because you’ve walked that path yourself.

Your compassion isn’t just about being kind; it’s a genuine, true understanding of what it means to be hurt and a deep desire to help alleviate and possible even safe others from that pain(similar to your experience).

It’s not easy to hear but the compassion that comes from trauma isn’t always easy to navigate because it’s often felt too deep and too much (without a filter). 

This is so painful but it might help you understand yourself better.

Trauma, especially when it happens early in life, can deeply ingrain the belief that we’re only worthy of the smallest amounts of love—like breadcrumbs.

If you grew up in an environment where affection or approval was inconsistent, you may have learned that love was something you had to earn or that it only came in small doses.

Over time, this belief becomes part of your identity, and without realizing it, you carry it with you into adulthood.

As adults, this shows up in settling for less in relationships, friendships, and even in the opportunities we allow ourselves to pursue. 

When all you’ve known is trauma, your body and mind get stuck in survival mode.

Your nervous system becomes used to high levels of stress, so you might not always recognize what’s truly dangerous.

This can make it easy to confuse intense emotions with excitement or even attraction.

For example, your fight-or-flight response, which is meant to protect you from harm, can start to feel like „butterflies.“

You might see red flags  in people—things that should make you cautious—but they feel familiar or even exciting because your brain has gotten used to that feeling of chaos. It’s something your subconscious now recognizes as „normal.“
That’s why healing is so important. When you heal, you rewire your mind and body to tell the difference between real danger and healthy excitement. This helps you stop confusing toxic patterns for love or excitement and instead recognize what real safety and peace feel like.

losing people in tough times can feel like an extra blow. But over time, you realize that some were never meant to stay on your journey. It’s all part of healing.

We are stronger than we think we are

We often look outside of ourselves for reassurance, hoping that others will validate our worth or change so we can finally feel free.

We wait for an apology, for someone to understand us, or for a situation to improve before we allow ourselves to heal. But all of this is external—a temporary fix for a deeper wound.

True healing doesn’t come from the outside. It starts from within, by creating a sense of safety, love, and peace inside ourselves.

When we focus on our own healing, we stop needing others to change for us to feel whole.

If you’re ready to begin this inner journey, my course is here to guide you in healing and finding the peace you deserve. The path to true freedom starts from within.

I wish I had known this decades ago: childhood trauma often makes you accustomed to receiving only breadcrumbs of affection and love.

When you’re raised in an environment where your emotional needs are frequently unmet, you learn to accept minimal attention and care, minimizing your own needs to avoid conflict or rejection.

This dynamic can turn you into a people-pleaser, seeking validation from others because it feels like the only way to be valued.

But when you practice self-love, compassion, and heal past trauma, you begin to recognize your own worth and stop settling for less. 

When I read the quote, ‘Just like autumn leaves, you would blow off every fall,’ it resonated so strongly with me—especially for those struggling with trauma.

Trauma can often leave you feeling powerless, hopeless, and uncertain, unable to move forward or envision a beautiful and brighter future for yourself.

If you’re feeling stuck and overwhelmed, this is an important reminder that healing is possible. Just like autumn leaves, your life can blossom and life can feel beautiful again.
If you feel stuck or struggle maybe my course can help. 

I really wish more people would know and understand that trauma creates a deep-rooted sense of never being enough, of always needing to do more, or be more, to feel worthy of love and acceptance.

A “lecture”, no matter how well-intended, can feel like yet another reminder that they’re failing or falling short and even fuel their harsh inner voice and feelings of inadequacy.

What truly helps is connection. A hug, a kind word, or even just sitting with them in their pain—these small, compassionate acts speak volumes.

They say, “I’m here for you. You are enough as you are. I am not abandoning or judging you”. It’s a message that goes far beyond fixing a problem or giving advice. It soothes the part of them that was never comforted when they needed it most.

Healing from trauma is like coming home—it’s a journey through the chaos, confusion, and disconnection that trauma often brings, and finding your way back to a place of inner peace and safety.

It’s about seeking a sense of belonging, that feeling of groundedness, as though you’re no longer lost in the storm of pain and uncertainty.

Much like a home, healing creates a space where you feel safe, connected, and whole.

You can rediscover a place inside yourself that no one can ever take away—a place of comfort that always belonged to you, even when it felt distant.

Trauma disconnects us from this inner home, from ourselves, and from others, making us feel isolated and adrift. 

Sometimes, we don’t get the apology we need to heal from the trauma someone else caused.

What’s hardest is realizing the responsibility to recover still falls on us.

It’s not just the pain of what happened—it’s the weight of everything that comes after.

Trauma may not be our fault, but the journey to heal becomes ours.

The lack of an apology keeps us stuck in that pain, holding onto the hurt long (often even years) after the moment has passed.

When we don’t heal, we give away our emotional power, allowing the person who caused the trauma to still have an invisible power over us, even years later. 

I wish more people understood that if you’ve been through trauma, your negative self-talk isn’t something you chose. It’s a reflection of how your brain and nervous system have been impacted.

Trauma can make you feel unsafe within yourself, your brain naturally becomes more wired to expect the worst. It’s a defense mechanism, trying to protect you from further hurt.

The constant state of stress and distrust in ourselves can make it feel like we’re stuck in negativity. But it’s important to remember that this isn’t who you are—it’s what you’ve been through.

Starting your healing journey means acknowledging that your brain and body are doing their best to keep you safe, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

Healing is about creating a new sense of safety, one small step at a time, and learning to speak to yourself with the kindness and understanding again.

It’s not an overnight process, but by gradually shifting how you talk to yourself, you can begin to rewire those patterns. 

Healing is a process and journey and doesn’t come with a fixed schedule or destination.

The most important part is actually starting your journey instead of thinking about it and procrastinating or finding reasons to delay it. 

Trauma often teaches us to stay silent, either because we were ignored, dismissed, or punished when we tried to express ourselves.

This learned silence can become a protective mechanism, where speaking up feels dangerous or pointless. We become tongue tight around authority figures but also in our personal relationships.

Healing from trauma is about undoing that conditioning—reclaiming your voice and recognizing that you have the right to be heard.

It’s about tackling the inner fears and insecurities that trauma has created within us.

By healing, you gradually rebuild the confidence to express your needs, feelings, and thoughts without fear, breaking free from the silence imposed by past wounds.